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“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. “Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props. I was in for a surprise with their answers. Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. More: Labiaplasty, vodka tampons and more scary teen “trends your kids are sick of hearing about Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. “Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers. “I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.” Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.Ī week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal. His hesitation should have been my first clue. More: This teenage girl just got fired for speaking up about inequalityĮven as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.” But one day when I climbed something weird happened. 56).“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. Pelicans & Chihuahuas and Other Urban Legends.
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Some tellings of the legend end with the sodomizer dead at the hands of his victim and his victim-turned-killer now serving a life term in Leavenworth. The GI is often said to “beat the crap” out of his tentmate upon discovering what he’s been up to.
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Whereas the college version generally ends with the discovery of the perfidy, revenge is almost always exacted on the perpetrator in the military version, either by the soldier acting on his own or with the help of his buddies. (Both tellings involve predators who drug their victims with alcohol.) The story has spread widely in the United States over the last twenty years or so, generally set in military barracks or campus dormitories. The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, and it was included in Gershon Legman’s Rationale of the Dirty Joke. While searching through the items his roommate had left behind this student discovered a beaker of ether and a rag in a large zip-loc bag.Īs Brunvand notes, this legend has been mentioned in print as far back as 1886, in Richard F. He returned to his dorm room to discover that his roommate had hastily moved out and had dropped out of school. The sluggishness was due to heavy drug use. The doctor seemed puzzled because he explained that the cause of the student’s pains was due to being sodomized on a regular basis. After the exam the doctor asked the student if he was gay. This went on for a week or two before he sought medical attention at Cowell.
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Apparently his roommate had been using ether on him to knock him out while he, um, had his way with him.Ī guy in the dorms would wake up in the morning feeling sluggish and experiencing abdominal pains. It was discovered that he had a high level of ether in his bloodstream. A guy went to the doctor because of pain in his rectum. A few summers ago, a friend of mine at work told me a story that supposedly happened at the school he went to.